Not Just Fine
Understanding the unseen challenges of those around us.
As I walked down the lane with my cousin after a fulfilling Asian lunch, she opened up about some childhood traumas and hardships that had shaped her into the strong, unapologetic person she is today—a person who no longer settles for anything or anyone who doesn't respect her time and space.
How often we ask others how they’re doing, only to hear a simple "fine," without ever digging deeper to truly understand the stories and struggles beneath the surface.
I was sitting in solitude, weighing my problems and reflecting on how much importance I have placed on them in my everyday existence, I subconsciously made them a part of driving my actions. Most of us do this. We all have our challenges, whether they are financial, interpersonal, cosmetological, psychological, health-related, family, or otherwise.
“Not all battles are fought in the open, and sometimes our greatest struggles are invisible to others.”
Most of us have shame associated with our problems, we are ashamed of saying no to certain unwanted plans, we just want to look cool and stress our pockets.
If you wish a good break, you are very much entitled to spend your money as you wish to spend. “ How you wish to spend” and not how others would like to spend you. If you wish to eat healthy due to certain health reasons or to stay fit, no one is entitled to make you feel otherwise about it. If you wish to go to therapy to deal with your problems or for keeping a healthy mindset you don't owe anyone an explanation for that.
It is not your fault if you grew up in a family where things were not always available to you, and you struggled to overcome your circumstances. Growing up in an abusive environment, improving yourself every day, and reaching a place where you can call yourself independent and responsible does not imply that you should blame and compare yourself to others your age and lifestyle. Give yourself some credit for getting there without always having all of the resources at your disposal. Be proud of yourself and your challenges.
"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." — Rumi
Instead of constantly crushing yourself, learn to appreciate your skills and gifts. Learn to be kind to others and think beyond popularity, success, money, and appearances at all moments. Try to avoid reacting if someone is angry or jealous of you. Try to figure out why he is reacting this way.
When someone is vulnerable and sharing something personal, listen and empathize rather than overshadow their experience by comparing it to your own.
Sometimes, we tend to do this, either because we feel our problems are more significant or we want to prove the other person that we're in the same situation.
It's important to offer them reassurance that tough times will pass and remind them they can always come to us for comfort when they need it most.We should approach them with kindness, empathy, and support, especially when they turn to us in times of difficulty.
We all have our struggles and hidden challenges; things we don't often talk about but fight through every day. Instead of feeling ashamed, we should take pride in these silent battles, not letting them define our present or future.
"Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself." — Mohsin Hamid
I recommend you to
Celebrate your growth and be proud of how far you’ve come, no matter the obstacles.
Protect your mental and emotional space, and surround yourself with those who respect it. Remember that no one has it all figured out, and each day is an opportunity for growth.
Vulnerability builds connection and helps us understand that we're never truly alone in our struggles.
A little empathy goes a long way.
Own your story and be proud of the resilience it shows.
Thank you so much for reading!
What are your thoughts on the same? Let me know in the comments below.
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Very beautiful piece.
Thanks for this Sakshi. Vulnerability is indeed such an expensive thing to afford in our current social economy. Maybe it's because most of us have so much hurts from trust, or its hard to just start pouring it all out or maybe, nobody even gives a crap. But that shouldn't be all that matters. We were created for each other and we certainly need each other..